1.             Stop saying I shouldn’t be trained to prevent rape.

—-Start saying  I have the right be trained to resist attack and abduction.

2.             Stop saying I can’t fight back successfully.

—-Start saying women and children have enormous power and fight back successfully everyday.

3.             Stop saying it’s too dangerous.

Start saying girls who resist attack successfully number in the millions but don’t make the news.

4.             Stop saying self-defense is victim blaming.

—– Start saying self-defense teaches dozens of options, one of which is trust your gut – even when it  says don’t resist.

5.             Stop saying men cannot be stopped.

Start saying size does not matter in an attack, strategy does.

6.             Stop saying this is a mans problem and I should wait around until men fix it.

—- Start saying I deserve the chance to live a healthy happy life, regardless of what men do or don’t do.

7.             Stop saying that if I defend myself I am using violence.

—- Start saying I am charged with protecting young children and siblings from harm, I have the right to extend those same skills on my own behalf.

8.             Stop saying self-defense makes me ‘overly confident.’

—-Start saying self-defense makes me aware and capable of judicious appropriate action.

 9.    Stop saying self-defense empowerment makes me reckless and violent.

—- Start saying empowerment training builds my capacity to act wisely on behalf of myself and others. 

10. Stop saying that rape in our lifetime is inevitable and I am unable to resist. 

—- Start saying my destiny is to learn how powerful I really am in the face of oppression, bullying, disrespect  and danger.

11. Stop saying empowerment training will only scare children.

—–Start saying safety training needs to begin early, even kids want to know adults support our right to speak up and protect ourselves.

12. Stop saying the men in my life will protect me

—–Start saying I need to learn to protect myself as most attacks are planned to happen in isolation.

13. Stop saying I’m too small or weak to fight back

—–Start believing I am strong.

14. Stop condemning rape prevention efforts as useless.

——-Start asking how you can help.

Do we really have to wait around for laws to be passed, for soldiers no leave, for police to get on board or for men to “get it” when this is what girls can do today?

http://youtu.be/YJ0E4OMxFhI

Now we need the same thing for boys! We can’t do it without funding! So please help out. We need the same thing that women have: 3 week training intensive curriculum, manuals and equipment, oh and money for salaries. We’ve got some great guys, ready to step up!  We have everything we need to make this happen except money! With rape in the news constantly lately we’re hoping these grants come through~  Ole’!

Lou Bergholz – Edgework Consulting – you are the end-all and be-all to my efforts to stop rape. You are totally brilliant and there are no words to describe how much your   mentorship has effected me.

Team Stanford! All our research peeps- Cynthia, Neville, Clea, Bonnie, Jennifer – I honestly don’t know where we would be without you all. I mean it. I can think of a million corny things to say about ‘wind beneath my wings’ – but I will spare you. Suffix to say you are the rockstars in all this.

Jeannie Cheng – You continue to volunteer your time and talents to the development of curriculum and manuals. Stepping in and offering help. Where would I be without your dedication?

Emily Pottruck – You are my still point in the turning world. We are sisters in the things that matter most.

Erin Weed – In some ways the smart stuff I do started the day I met you. Not a day goes by where  I haven’t benefitted  in some deep way from knowing you.

Cyd Paiva – Holy Mother of God and Jesus and all the Saints! – you are my touchpoint, for you there are never enough words to describe what you really mean to me. You are there in my brightest and darkest days.

Brooke Duthie – Yup, I know how busy you are, how brilliant you are so how come you are always there for me with your cameras, your time and your energy? That’s just your love in action.

Lauren Taylor –  I Thank God you stepped in when you did to edit the manuals. Even in your rough days you took time out to advise me. I hate to put it this way  Lauren – but you, you light up my life… : )

David Ford – You taught me to write and that’s a sword I will weild as long as I’m alive. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Tommy Clark – You are and have been my compass – guiding me, encouraging me ALWAYS sharing your time and knowledge. I’ve told you this but I don’t think you can know how many amazing directions you have sent me off in.

Anne Kuzminsky – Grateful you did battle against my formidable disbelief that I had anything to offer the women at NWMAF – you won and opened up a whole new world to me, the NWMAF world.

Jennifer King and Tim Fredel – Thank you for being the answer to thousands of prayers. Through you I got my start and that has mattered more to me than you can ever know.

Dawn Andres – Thank you for making time to work with me. For listening as you do, translating the message, inspiring others with your talent and dedication. I will always, always want your quiet friendship and consultation.

Cometeers! – You have come to our board meetings exhausted, hungry, wrung out from your day jobs to guide and encourage No Means No in careful, prescient ways. You believed in the program when it looked like everything was falling apart. I know now that not everyone sticks around- but you did and you do and I love every one of you.

Karen, Alex, Kristen – You gave me the gift of being an mom and still encouraging me in my work, KNOWING how much it would take me away from you. You gave me more space as a mom than a lot of kids would. That has made all the difference to me. It’s your generosity of spirit at work.

Jake Sinclair –  You said, “DON’T not do this because you don’t have money.” Who says that???? If you had not said that I would not have taken the first step in a thousand.

Daisy, Marie and Eva- Thanks for lowering my blood pressure, putting things in perspective and calming me down. As Eckart Tolle says “animals keep us  sane.”

Whew! Flood of emotion doing that- wow. There is nothing buried about this treasure.  In the list above I have my finest feelings.

http://edition.cnn.com/video/?/video/international/2009/10/20/ia.karate.grannies.bk.a.cnn
By David McKenzie and Isha Sesay

http://youtu.be/wtidgq9d3_E
By Jeong-One Park

Winner of the 14th International Women’s Film Festival (Korea)
Winner of the Society for Visual Anthropology Film Festival (USA)
Winner of the London Feminist Film Festival (UK)
Nominated for the 24th One World Media Awards (UK)
Finalists for the Médecins Sans Frontières Film Competition (Australia).

 

http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/12/23/us-india-protests-idUSBRE8BM02X20121223

Big Shout Out to Edgework Consulting in Boston for the new Boys Rape Prevention Curriculum and programming. Let’s get the “Your Moment of Truth” program up and running in 2013 and make allies of thousands of young men in Nairobi.

Big Shout Out to Lauren Taylor at Edit Ace for her amazing work finalizing the official NMNW ImPowerment – Self-Defense Manuals for women – and all the other things you help me with. You rock!

Big Shout out to Jeannie Cheng for her curriculum design work on the NMNW Manuals and all the other things she does behind the scenes.

Big Shout Out to the Miss Mitchells Cometeers Local for their time and energy as the unofficial board of NMNW in San Francisco. You have been our guiding star!

Big Shout Out to NMNW Staff in Kenya. You did it!!! You pulled it off! Not only teaching thousands of girls to prevent rape but organizing and implementing a massive research project to measure your impact – well done!

Big Shout Out to the new NMNKenya Male Instructors! Best of Luck rolling out the new 2013 Boys Class. We CAN make allies of Kenyan youth.

The search for funding begins….Big Shout Out to our first official NMNW donor! We have been privately funded since 2011 and are finally ready to accept donations for our work. Thank you so much for your 2013 kickoff donation.

Big Shout Out to the thousands of Kenyan girls who have successfully used their training to prevent rape. The way you have utilized your empowerment training to prevail in an assault is an inspiration to all of us.

Big Shout Out of Thanks to the hundreds of women and girls willing to film your testimonials. You are living proof that Self-Defense can work in the highest risk areas of the world.

Big Shout Out to Women’s Martial Arts Federation – thank you for all you have done for women and girls in the fight against rape. I can NOT imagine where we’d be without your commitment and dedication to the rape prevention. ‘Wow’ is all I can say since I met you all.

Big Shout Out to all the men and women who provided material and expertise to the NMNW Manuals. I can’t thank you enough for sharing your work with us all.

Big Shout Out to my husband Jake for your tireless efforts in the field of rape prevention. You inspire me everyday to go the extra mile.

Big Shout Out to Shosho Jikenge for listening to me, for coming to ALL the trainings since 2006, for sticking with us through the tough times and for stopping the rape of Grandmothers in Grogan B area of Korogocho slum. You did it, and we need to raise a glass because it was thought to be impossible.

To everyone who has helped in any way to move this rape prevention effort forward. Let’s put our hearts and minds together to be the Manhattan Project to end global rape. If the Grannies of Korogocho can do it, then it can be done in anywhere.

Xoxo
Lee

I used to be more understanding, more accepting of the times these movies were made but it’s got to the point where I can’t get beyond it. Watching women speak and act that way has become a form of gender blackface to me. A parody of women I’m unable to endure watching.
Ugh. Woe is me. It feels like such a loss …