Content note: this post discusses sexual violence. No Means No Worldwide stands in solidarity with survivors of sexual violence. If you or anyone you know needs support, RAINN is an excellent resource to reach out to in the U.S, and the No More Global Directory lists resources in the U.S. and internationally.
The recent allegations of sexual assault at Cornell University have fueled a national conversation in the U.S. about sexual violence. As this is an ongoing legal case with new information coming out publicly every day, we won’t pretend to have all the facts. But when news like this breaks, one question often follows: "What would I have done as a bystander?” It's a worthwhile question to ask before the moment arrives; bystanders can’t change the past, but anyone can learn skills to interrupt harm in the future.
Here's what the research and our programs say about how to prepare.
What is Bystander Intervention and the Bystander Effect?
By definition, “bystander intervention” is when you witness and recognize a harmful situation, and do something to disrupt it. At that moment, there is a choice of whether to act or not.
There are common reasons people often don’t act, including not knowing what to do, worrying about their own safety, assuming it’s ‘none of their business’, or power dynamics.There’s also the Bystander Effect, which is the concept that the more people around and witnessing the situation, the less responsibly each person feels. This effect can often be strongest in group settings such as a crowded public space, a party, or even a group chat.
These are all normal human reactions, not necessarily character flaws. But learning and practicing the skills to intervene effectively can help anyone be more prepared and likely to do the right thing when the moment arises.
Safety First
Safety is the first consideration in deciding if, when, and how to intervene.If you can't safely intervene, the right move is to find someone who can help.
There is a range of options, from low-risk to high-risk. You don't have to be a hero to make a difference. Sometimes simply interrupting an inappropriate comment can have the desired effect; for other situations it may take a more active intervention.
The first step is to pay attention before you intervene. Recognize what’s happening, take a deep breath, and stay calm so you can think clearly. Have courage and don’t assume others will step in. Assess how escalated the situation is and which option is safe for you and others.
The 5 D's of Bystander Intervention
The 5 D’s are different strategies for bystander intervention. They can be used singularly or in concert with each other. The concept of the 5 D’s was originally created by the organization Right to Be, in partnership with Green Dot.
- Direct: address the person causing harm or the person being harmed. Use a calm, assertive voice, eye contact, and strong body language. Name the behavior. For example: you are at a party with your friend, who is heavily intoxicated. You see someone leading her into a private space in the house and you’re not sure about the situation. You can address the person leading her: "Hey, stop. She's not okay. Let me get her somewhere safe."
- Distract: de-escalate by changing the subject or breaking the moment. This can be especially useful when confronting someone head-on feels unsafe, but may also need to be combined with other strategies in some instances. For example, in a group chat, someone posts a message that treats a person like an object. You break the momentum by changing the subject loudly and quickly: "Hey, did anyone see the game last night? Also, I'm going to say it: this thread isn't okay. Let's drop it." Or, if you don't feel safe saying the second part publicly, post an unrelated message to disrupt the pile-on, then follow up privately with a trusted adult or the person affected (this combines Distract with Delegate and Delay).
- Delegate: bring in someone better positioned to help. This might be another bystander, a friend of the person causing harm, or someone with authority. For example: you are at an outdoor concert and see that a boy in line for the bathroom is being harassed and shoved by two older boys. You do not know if the older boys have weapons and do not feel safe intervening. You alert security so they can step in.
- Document: record what's happening, if it's safe. This might include photos, video, notes on time, place, and descriptions. Follow up with the person who was harmed and ask whether they'd like a copy. It's their choice. For example: In a group chat, one of the members shares deepfake porn images of someone else that they’ve created without consent. You take screenshots, let the person affected know, and ask them if they’d like a copy for evidence.
- Delay: do something after the incident is over, particularly if you were unable to intervene for any reason. This might be checking in and offering support to the person harmed, or reporting to a trusted adult or the appropriate authority. For example: After practice, a group of older players started teasing a freshman teammate. They grabbed his bag, mocked him, and filmed him on someone's phone while he laughed it off but clearly wasn't okay. You were across the room, you didn't want to get on the older guys' bad side, and you said nothing. He left quickly. Later that day, away from the group, you reach out to him: "Hey, that stuff in the locker room today wasn't cool. I'm sorry I didn't say anything. Are you okay?" You let him know that you can come with him if he decides to tell the coach.
Beyond the Moment
Bystander skills work best when peers expect each other to use them. Parents, we encourage you to talk about the 5D’s with your kids. Young people, consider sharing about the 5 D's with friends, teammates, and siblings.
In addition, we want to acknowledge that prevention also requires institutions to take reports seriously. We urge those in positions of authority to act with the gravity and urgency such reporting requires.
Remember, there’s always an option. No one is “just” a bystander.
What can you do next?
- Share this post with a friend or on social media
- Practice the 5D’s with a friend: pick one scenario and talk through your options
- Sign up for more updates from No Means No Worldwide here.
